


The veil

by karyon



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Book 7: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Canonical Character Death, Master of Death Harry Potter, Multi, Near Death Experiences, Possible Character Death, Romantic Soulmates, Self-Fulfilling Prophecy, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin Friendship, Werewolves Turn Into Actual Wolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 11:33:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14307762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karyon/pseuds/karyon
Summary: The shadow of war is spreading over the world and the Order of the Phoenix is working, in great secrecy, to oppose Voldemort and its ambitions.Sirius, trapped in the hateful house of his childhood, discovers that there were people very close to him who have hidden important secrets, fundamental to that war that is massing on the horizon.In the meantime, if this discovery will bring him back to his past, an overwhelming feeling will make him hope again in a future that he believed impossible.Hermione, more mature than her age and brighter than the average of her peers, will find herself implicated in a love that is greater than her and in an already written destiny of which she had no knowledge.In the background, the lives of friends and relatives disrupted by war, secret missions and crossed destinies. In the background mysterious enemies, who plot in the shadows and move the unaware pawns of a war that perhaps hides something bigger.All to accomplish an ancient prophecy, a prophecy that speaks of death, a prophecy that speaks of love and - incredibly - of peace.





	1. Chapter one

_The man who of the Death is the custodian will born in the House of Eagle at the beginning of the sorrowful month. He arrives, without shadow nor fear, the man who for two times has confronted the Dark Mother and, for two times again, has escaped its evident Fate._  
_The Crow he will have as an ally and, together, they will fulfill the Fate that upon the two worlds has imposed its mark._  
_The man will have to shred the Veil of Knowledge and, to become the Death custodian, he will have to dead in her arms. Three are the missions that will interpose on his path: to find himself he must get lost, to guard he must let go and to love he must hate._  
_The man who of the Death is the conqueror will mark him as his enemy and the imminent war will see them on two opposite sides. The Crow will arrive to bring peace and the war will not end if the Death will not recover her unity._  
_The man who of the Death is the custodian will born in the House of Eagle, to the tenth strike of the bell._  
**_12,5 Book of Micah – Red Library, White Family_**  
   
   
_Youth, contrary to what people think, has nothing to do with age: it’s something deeper and at time slight; it’s something that has to do with the spirit._  
_When one is young, the spirit is able to sink into the darkest depths and rise into the most endless skies. In those times I felt, without being really aware of it, that Andreas White was in that sense the youngest person I knew._  
_It was a sort of rediscovery, because there was a part of me that had always known it; a slow rediscovery, lived day after day, pain after pain, renunciation after renunciation. In hindsight, maybe I wouldn’t do everything the same way, maybe I would run away at the first hint of change, maybe I would throw myself in the fire before, maybe I would not move a single step._  
_Maybe  this is the fun part: in spite of any magic, you can never really go back. It was he who taught me this: if something must happen, it will happen._  
_In spite of everything and everyone. Even of yourself._  
**_From the diary of Hermione Granger - 1999_**  
   
   
   
   
                                                                                                                         

###  **6th August 1995**

   
That damned portrait began to scream again, shacking the basement of the house, and Sirius wondered if his mother really had that voice when she was alive. In reality, even if he hated her with all he has got, he didn’t remember she was so noisy.  
However, he couldn’t blame her that time, hearing how the shouts of his godson reached Voldemort himself.   
Sirius left the room in time to see Molly smashing the other portraits of his ancient house, then he ran towards the stairs.  
«Shut up, ugly witch, _shut up!_ » He had been snarling, while he closed the tents on her face.  
The portrait of his mother recognized him and paled «Youuuu, traitor of your blod, abomination and shame of my fleeesh!» she yelled, opening her eyes wide.   
«I said: shut. Up.» Sirius snarled and, with the help of Remus, closed the tents.  
Mrs Black’s yelling faded, reverberating in the silence.  
Sirius moved his long hair away from his eyes and turned towards the guys on the stairs, failing in try a smile for Harry.  
«Hi» he said darkly. «I see you met my mother».  
«Your-?» Harry was shocked and Sirius smiled without joy.  
«Oh yes, my dear old mother. it's been a month that we try to pull her down, but it must have thrown a Permanent Adhesion Spell on the back of the canvas. Let's go down, soon, before everyone awakens».  
«But… why’s your mother’s portrait here?» asked Harry, as they walked through the door and walked down a flight of narrow stone steps.  
«Nobody told you? This was my parents’ house» Sirius explained. «But I’m the only Black left, so now it’s mine. I offered it as Headquarter, basically the only useful thing I did since I was freed».  
Sirius waited that Harry had entered in the kitchen, then turned towards Hermione that was coming down behind him.  
«He was crazy, didn’t he?»  
«Well, a sort of… I mean-» Hermione stopped in the middle of her answer, embarrassed. She didn’t want to speak behind Harry’s back, particularly in that moment.  
Sirius shook his head «Don’t worry, I’ve heard him like everybody in town» he was saying, ironically, while Ron looked up to the sky and said «I love Harry, but sometimes he needs to relax».  
Sirius shrugged the shoulders «Well, he’ll be fine» he said, but Hermione just glared at him. When Sirius joined Harry in the kitchen, Hermione turned towards Ron and snorted: «He _need to relax?_ »  
Ron nodded «Well… yes! You have to admit it: this time he went too far! You were here, didn’t you? It's not like we've spent all our time fighting Deatheaters, attending meetings of the Order or doing cool things in general...»  
«But he doesn’t know that» Hermione replied, while they were returning upstairs to avoid Mrs Black’s awakening. «Try to _think,_ Ron: Harry saw what he saw just a few weeks ago and then he was totally excluded from everything… how would you feel?»  
«Okay, but it wasn’t our fault! It was a decision of Dumbledore!» He stubbornly said. «He shouldn’t went mad with us…»  
«Oh yes, because it’s so easy to go mad with Dumbledore himself…» Hermione said, ironically, then she sat down on a chair in Ron’s room. «I wonder why Dumbledore decided that Harry needed to know nothing…»  
«You know how it works: Dumbledore behave in mysterious ways» Ron replied, then Ginny’s red hair appeared from the door.  
«Guys, dinner!»  
The dinner was enjoyable, despite of Harry rude arrival: the dark kitchen was more welcoming thanks to the good smell of Molly’s cooking and the small talks of the guests.  
Apart from Sirius, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred, George and Molly that lived there, there were also Mr Weasley and Bill, Nynfadora Tonks, Mundungus Fletcher and Remus Lupin. The latter, even if was officially living in Grimmauld Place like the others, often left for lasting mysterious _business trips_ under Dumbledore’s orders.  
Hermione took a third portion of stew – the cleaning of that house required more forces she thought – and returned to laugh at Tonks transformations.  
Hermione thought that be a _Metamorfomagus_ should be great to thin out her tensions in a snap of fingers, maybe even Harry’s tensions. She turned towards him, who was laughing with the others at Tonks long fake noise: she knew that he never truly forget something even if he faked to be happy for his beloved ones.  
Of course, his happiness could be due to the presence of his godfather, finally on his side: even in the chaos of a small full kitchen it was possible to notice the glances of perfect harmony between the two.  
However, Hermione thought that the word “harmony” was the one that suited Sirius less and her first impression was confirmed week after week, not only because of his proximity but also because they were literally absorbed by his whole life.    
She began to see a sort of halo around Sirius, an air that always followed him. Even during a pleasant dinner where everybody seemed relaxed, Hermione could see something boiling under the surface of Sirius serenity. It was a strange feeling for her that didn’t believe in those thing, as her Divination classes had shown.  
Or maybe she thought too much, said to herself when Ginny stroke her with an elbow. Hermione saw that she was glancing at Sirius and Harry since she had begun to think about them. Harry didn’t notice her, but Sirius was looking at her in a interrogative way.   
Hermione smiled and lower her gaze on the stew.  
The evening wasn’t pleasant as the dinner: when Sirius began to clean his throat, looking at Harry, Hermione was sure something should happen. Thanks to his stubbornness, they finally got the first real information since their arrival to the Headquarter of the Order, even if Mrs Wesley was so mad that everybody followed her on the stairs for the night without a word.  
Despite of the fact that Hermione was generally agreed with Mrs Weasley and that she considered dangerous for Harry to go against Dumbledore’s orders, that time she agreed with Sirius: it was right for Harry to require information about the times to come.  
As Lupin said, it was better to get correct information thanks to a direct source then bad information from personal thoughts.   
«Goodnight» she said, stopping on the first floor while Ron and Harry were going to their room on the second floor. She went on the room shared with Ginny and kept to think about Sirius’s words: he spent a lot of time in Azkaban, falsely accused of murder, without being able to stay with Harry and now he still had to feel useless because of his state… _“But it was hard enough to take care of him while you were locked up in Azkaban, wern’t you?_  
Mrs. Weasley's words now seemed so insensitive to her, especially as she looked at Sirius's paled face.  
Hermione didn’t know why it seemed so important to her, maybe the dark atmosphere of Grimmauld Place didn’t help to her mood, especially adding the harshness of their host and the tensions of guests. Even a quiet person like Remus seemed too harsh.  
When she was sure that Mrs Weasley was gone to bed, she sneaked out from her bed to go to the bathroom on the third floor; on the stairs, she was finally able to hear some voices, arguing about something. She had never been on the third floor, but she was sure that there was Sirius room; trying to hide herself, she listened to the conversation. She would later feel stupid for being so unbelievably cheeky, but at that moment something pushed her up a few steps to try and figure out what the voices were saying.  
«You were terribly rash, but I warned you to be careful when Harry came…» Remus was saying, in a resigned tone.   
«I don’t need a baby-sitter, Remus» replied Sirius, keep from bursting.  
«Lower your tone… I think so, yes. You hadn’t a right to act like that with Molly» said Remus and Sirius snorted sarcastically.  
«Oh? And she had the right? I wasn’t the one over the top, this night!»  
«She is talking for Harry’s sake, you know that… »  
Hermione heard a noise as Sirius had hit something, more likely the door. Their voices were too clear to be closed behind the door, so maybe they were on the doorsill.  
«And me? You think I’m able to do something to put Harry in danger?»  
Hermione welcomed Remus silence with more anxiety than Sirius.  
«Moony, answer me. Don’t stay still, damn it!»  
«Okay, listen… you and me, we know that your idea of “danger” may not coincide with the one of someone else, certainly not with Molly. But you should…»  
   
«I _should_ what? Apart from _not_ participate to the missions, I can’t express my point of view about what my godson should or shouldn’t do?»  
«Don’t take it personally, Dumbledore’s orders don’t matter in this case… you just should try to be more cooperative».  
Sirius’s laugh was cold and without any joy; It moved Hermione deeply: how many things he had to suffer to have a similar laugh?  
«Cooperative, really? But did you see where I am now? I’m trapped in this damned house like I was fifteen years old! At this point, it was better to stay in Azkaban!»  
Remus snorted «I’m really sorry, it’s terrible that you’re here again, believe me. But try to understand what I’m saying to you: you can’t blame anyone of these people if you had problem with your family or if you can’t go out. Don’t pour your frustration on them!»  
«We’re fucked, Moony, this is the sad reality».  
«I know».  
«This life as an outcast isn’t for me. To fight till death, like James, that was for me. To protect Harry till Voldemort could kill me, this was for me» murmured Sirius.  
Remus approached him and put a hand on his shoulders «I know that, Sirius. But try to figure out the positive things: you’ve offered your parents house for  the Order, the beloved house of your racist parents for the man who will destroy Voldemort!»  
Sirius laughed «I’ve offered this house, because I knew that was the key to be involved without being forgotten… surely Dumbledore wasn’t ready to help me».  
«Don’t blame Dumbledore, now» Remus replied, angrily. «You know that he has a plan for everyone».  
«Yeah. Sure. Now I want to sleep, goodnight Moony».  
Remus tried to smile «Okay… try to rest, Harry hasn’t to see you as a depress uncle».  
_Damn it._ Hermione realized in a second that Remus had to go downstairs, so she needs to run and hide. She faked  to go out from the bathroom on the second floor and to cross him. For a moment, she was worried that he knew, but then he just said «You’re still awake?»  
Hermione tried to smile «Well, the bathroom was occupied. Goodnight!» Explained, then ran to her room, insulting herself for her stupidity.  
The idea of Sirius going to sleep alone, isolated from everyone, after two harsh discussions was disturbing; she felt sorry and agitated for him.  
Three seconds later, she was on the stairs again in a outburst of stupidity; she arrived in front of Sirius door and discovered that the door _wasn’t closed_ as she were hoping.   
Sirius raised his head and Hermione was nailed by his eyes.  
«Oh, hi Sirius!» She said, embarrassed.  
Sirius, that was sitting on his bed with his hands on the hair, stood up and said «Hermione, why you’re here?»  
«Well, I-I’m searching for another bathroom! It may be unbelievable, but the others are occupied» she lied, amazed by her capacity to built such quick stories at 1 a.m.  
Sirius shook his head «There aren’t bathrooms here, just two room and an ivory tower» he said, sarcastically. Hermione noticed that he tended to miss out on negative details about the house or his past when he felt angry or frustrated.  
Hermione turned to the other unique room on the floor and Sirius continued «That is my little brother’s room. I think my mother had hoped we could become closer if we were stuck here... or maybe kill each other, I don’t know».  
Sirius turned towards Hermione with a awkward glance, as he realized just in that moment he was talking to her.  
«Sorry» he said.  
«What? Why?» Hermione was genuinely confused.  
«Sometimes I don’t realize how harsh I am. This house bring too many bad memories».  
«Don’t be sorry, I can undesrtand…» she began but, at Sirius glance, she stopped: how she could say a thing like that? She was just a teenager with a partial view of the world, enough arrogant to pretend that a man like Sirius could take comfort in her words.  
But he didn’t seem angry or bothered, just curious.  
She continued «I mean, I can’t really understand everything, but I can imagine that the returning in your parents house can be difficult. You’re left when you were so young…»  
The silence became thicker and Hermione keep to look in Sirius eyes: actually people usually didn’t watch directly in someone’s eyes, because they felt it was a very intimate gesture. She thought by looking in someone’s eyes it was possible to bring out the soul.  
_For God’s sake, Hermione, stop to over think._  
«You know, it’s for people like you that I hated my parents» said Sirius. «For people like you and Remus and Lily… for the idea that blood can determine the sensibility, the beauty or the intelligence of someone» he returned to look at her but actually without focus on her. «But it’s true that I shouldn’t allow to the hat to follow me… well, goodnight, Hermione. Try to sleep: I bet we’ll went to war with the house, tomorrow».  
Hermione stuck on her feet for a long time, thinking about that awkward moment: she had talked with Sirius alone so many times, but that time it feel different… maybe the dark and the night, but also to talk about such private topics, were responsible for these intimate vibes. She still felt the heat on the shoulder Sirius had touched and that was also strange; her rationality was ready to place these feelings in the file of “teenager crush”, but her past crushes were different in a way or in another. When she felt her embarrassing feelings for Lockhart during her second year – or for Remus himself in her third year – she was sure, because she was always careful in analyzing her emotions and in collocate them in the right place to know how react and what expect by them.  
Maybe that was the heart of the problem: Sirius was the only person she couldn’t define and place. And, despite of it, she thought to know him perfectly.  
«Go to sleep, Hermione, you’re influencing yourself» she said to herself, while entering in her room. Fortunately Ginny was sleeping, so she could go to sleep without any discussion, sure to not fall asleep soon.  
«Hermione, wake up!»  
A pillow fell on her face. Hermione murmured something and rolled up under the sheets, while Ginny was opening the windows.  
«You can pretend to sleep, but mom has already gone to see if we were awake and you know her» she said and sat down on her bed. «She has said that we have to fight with Doxy, how lucky!»  
Hermione removed the sheets from her head.  
«Beautiful hair!» said ironically Ginny. «Listen, but would you have imagined that living in the Headquarter of the Order was so boring? I didn’t expect duels every day, but neither perpetual Spring cleaning!»  
Hermione sat down and touched the nest she had as hair «Well, we are invisible so it’s obvious that nobody can fight us. Plus, we’re too young for the Order, so we can’t participate to the missions…»  
Ginny snorted and shut up like every time Hermione switched off her bursts with her rationality.  
Then, Hermione went to the bathroom, noticing how to not sleep was bad for her face, and took a little blue bottle from the shelf.  
Ginny glanced at her and jumped on her bed: «What’s up? Didn’t you sleep?»  
Hermione nodded and yawned, while she was massaging her hair. The sleekeazy’s hair potion that she used during the Yule Ball was too difficult and too expensive for the everyday routine, so she found a much more easier potion to use.  
«How long was the discussion?!» Ginny asked, puzzled.  
«Actually, not so much. But it was intense…»  
«You have to tell me everything! Yesterday night I’ve waited for you, but when I went out from bathroom you weren’t there!» Exclaimed enthusiastically Ginny.  
«I was on the bathroom upstairs!» Hermione replied with force, to justify herself.  
«Well, so what-»  
«Girls!» Mrs Weasley came in the room, interrupting the conversation. «Are you ready?»  
«We’re coming… Hermione is dressing!» Ginny said and the mother nodded.  
«The breakfast is on the table» Mrs Weasley replied, closing the door.  
Ginny waited for two seconds, then she said «I go downstairs before she began to scream again…We’ll talk in the pauses, right?»  
«Right…»  
Ginny closed the door with her typical impetuosity and Hermione was finally left alone. She felt a little sorry for the lie, but the she couldn’t say to Ginny about her strange feelings for Sirius: she was still confuse about them.  
In the kitchen, Mrs Weasley was cooking for everybody and Hermione was welcomed by the smeel of eggs and bacon.  
«Mh, I’m hungry!» She said, while was sitting next to Ginny. «Ron and Harry?»  
Ginny shrugged «Still intent in reconnecting the brain, I suppose»  
«Good morning» said Remus with a smile. He sat next to girls and his plate with poached eggs and bacon not too coked arrived. «Oh, thanks Molly. You’re too kind».  
«You’re welcome! We all need Energy!» She replied with a big smile that faded while the door was opening: Sirius entered in the kitchen, gingerly.  
«Good morning…» he said, sitting next to Remus.  
«Good morning» Molly eplied with the same tone. The little tensions between the two was clear and the situation was a little awkward.  
Ginny glanced at Hermione, but Remus cleared his throat and began towards Hermione «Well, which are your plans today?»  
«We have to… fight with Doxy?» She replied, looking to Ginny for a little help.  
«Ah yes. We have a big Doxy infestation!»  
Remus smiles and that time he seemed more like the marauder he was: «The Doxy are a poisonous and particularly aggressive species».  
Hermione and Ginny groaned at the same time, while Sirius was distracted by Molly that was handing him a plate.  
«Do you like scrambled egg, didn’t you?» She asked. She was cooking for everybody since a month and she almost knew their favorite dishes.  
«Oh, thanks. You shouldn’t have» he replied, half suprised. Remus smiled, but he drank another cup of coffee to hidden himself.  
Molly smiled: «Even you need some energy, didn’t you?» she said, then returned to the burner.  
Sirius glanced at Hermione doing a big smile and smiled back to her. For a moment there was a long silence because they were all eating, then Remus stand up.  
«I’ve to go… a very long day awaits me…»  
Molly nodded «Will you return for dinner?»  
«I don’t know, but I’ll worn you through Patronus…» He replied, he smiled to the girls and went to the door. Sirius followed him to the hall.  
«Listen…» he began, embarrassed.  
Remus shook his head «You don’t need to excuse yourself, we’re okay! But…»  
«Yeah, I know, I’ve to keep quiet…» Sirius replied. They know each other so well, to not need more explanations.  
Remus smiled «It’s gonna be alright».  
Sirius nodded «End this damned war and we’ll be alright»  
«Well say, sir. See you soon!»  
«Pay attention!»  
Hermione was watching the scene from the kitchen’s door and she was happy: it seemed that Sirius could influence the whole house with his mood; when he was fine, then the house was less dark.  
Sirius thought of Remus for a bit, then he hurled «Yes, mom is coming!» To the unmistakable voice of an hungry Hippogriff.  
Hermione laughed, then Ginny arrived behind her back «What are you doing?»  
«Oh, nothing!»  
«It’s working time, guys! Go to the living room, Fred and George are already here and can explain to you everything!»  
The girls went in the living room where the twins were jumping to the curtains, risking to crack their necks.  
«What are you trying to do?!» Ginny grunted but, before they could reply, Mrs Weasley entered the room with all the instruments to work.  
«Sister, you’ve some hallucinations I think!» Exclaimed George.  
«Yes, go to a doctor!» Fred continued, but Hermione saw George hide something in his treasures.  
«Haven’t you started yet?» Mrs Weasley said, but then she didn’t wait for an answer and just threw a rag for one. «Tie these rags around your mouth and nose, you don’t have to breathe in the fumes».  
Two second later, Harry and Ron came in, glancing at the curtains.  
«What  the hell…?» Began Ron, but her mother struck him on the head.  
«Take a rag and a spray. There is the potion to kill the Doxy… I’ve never see such a serious infestation… what has that elf done for ten years…»  
Hermione turned to her with an angry glance «Kreacher is old, maybe he haven’t the energy...»  
«You'd be surprised to find out what Kreacher can do when we want, Hermione» said Sirius, who had just entered the room carrying a bloody sack full of what looked like dead rats. «I just fed Buckbeak» he added, in response to Harry's curious look.  
«This writing desk… I think there is a Boggart, but I’m not sure. Maybe, we have to left it to Moody. Knowing my mother, it should be much worse».  
«You right, Sirius» said Molly, began to squirt a liquid on the curtains whence some black _things_ fell down with a “buzz”.  
Hermione let fell the rag and approached to Sirius «Sorry, Sirius...»  
«Yes?»  
Hermione cleaned her throat, searching for her bravery «Well, I think you’re too much harsh with Kreacher… He is a slave, like all the elves, this condition shouldn’t be natural!»  
She began to get carried away in the topic; she couldn’t stand an injustice. She could understand Sirius: he was almost a noble, a pureblood used to have elves and slaves, but he was also an intelligent person and he should think about it.  
Sirius glanced at her «It’s obvious you really don’t know Kreacher very well…»  
Hermione «What?»  
Sirius had a sigh «Well, Kreacher is…» be began to speak, but it was too difficult to explain his feelings about the elf. Kreacher wasn’t a simple elf, he was a symbol: of his blood, of his family, his status; he was a symbol of everything. He couldn’t not see in the creature his mother and the ideology of his family, even if it isn’t is fault.  
But how could explain it to a idealistic young girl?  
«Isn’t you that one day has said _"If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals"_?» Said again, Hermione, and Sirius was puzzled by the fact she could remember so well a thing he had said long time ago.  
Hermione knew she was too harsh with him but Sirius was way too intelligent to be so incoherent.  
«You’re right, but there are some things that go beyond rationality. Come with me, I’ll show you».  
The movev towards the bottom of the living room, where a big wide genealogic tree was elegantly decorated on the whole wall. On the top there was write “ _The noble and ancient House of Black”,_ then the House motto _“Toujours pur”,_ and Hermione could see that the most ancient branches dated back to the Middle Age.  
«Is this the entire genealogy of your family?» She asked and Sirius nodded.  
«Exactly. Generations over generations of people so worried to stay pure to insert this condition in the family motto and to marry just own relatives… well, can you find me?»  
Hermione glanced at him for a second, then try to find him among the many names, most of them famous among the Pureblood families; she recognized Draco Malfoy, but not a “Sirius Black”.  
 «You should be here…» she murmured, touching a hole in the wall among the lowest branches.  
«Excellent! Your’re really smart… I _should be here,_ but I was erased because I was accused to be a traitor of my blood».  
Hermione startled «Because you were a Gryffindor?»  
Sirius shrugged «Because I was a Gryffindor, because I had Remus and Lily as friends and I wasn’t ashamed. Because I refused to follow their pureblood mania and because I refused to marry a noble Pureblood just to continue the name of the family… for everything. My own mother took the hand and erased in a second his first son» he laughed but it was clear that there wasn’t joy in his words. Hermione could feel the angry and the bitterness and the pain under his words; maybe he could fake his feelings to everybody, but she could understand the torment inside him.  
They remained in silence for a while, then Sirius pointed at another person on the tree «Oh, this is my uncle Alphard, my mother’s brother. She erased him too because he gave me some money when I ran away from home at 17; thanks to him I could take a little room and don’t live in the streets…or, there were also Cedrella and Andromeda… can you imagine a worse thing to being erased from your family for love?»  
Hermione was a little shocked «For love?»  
«Yes. Cedrella Black is the mother of Arthur Weasley, erased because she decided to marry a “friend of Mudblood and muggles”, while my poor cousin has married the muggle Ted Tonks».  
«You mean…?»  
«Yes, the father of Nynfadora».  
Hermione returned to the tree and murmured «It’s terrible…»  
«There is no love in this family, there is no forgiveness. I've learned it for some time now» he murmured and Hermione felt so sorry for him. But, in the same time she wasn’t ready to change her mind about elves or official slavery.  
«And Kreacher? What does he have to do with all this?»  
«He is just a part of it, Hermione. It’s not right, it’s not intelligent… how I said about rationality: I _know_ it isn’t right, but it’s hard for me to do otherwise. Do you understand me?»  
They looked at each other for a while, then Hermione nodded «I think so, yes».  
She could understand, even if she didn’t approve.  
«I heard the word “Kreacher”… Hermione, are you bothering Sirius about CREPA, aren’t you?» Said Ron, from the center of the living room.  
Sirius and Hermione glanced at each other for the last time, then Hermione stand up and ran to Ron «It isn’t CREPA, Ron…»  
Sirius looked at her with a pang of emotions: Hermione Granger was everything he saw in a young idealistic Lily; in Remus, ready to excuse everybody despite of the hate; in a brave and cocky James… Everything they were in youth and that he wasn’t in a long time.  
The doorbell rang and Sirius snorted, while his mother was beginning to scream again.  
« _Every time!_ I say every time to people to not ring that damned bell!»  
Hermione glanced at him with a sad look as he went out of the room and with more sadness when, after some time, she saw another scene between Sirius and Kreacher. She would always be a fighter for elves rights and for the need to treat them like human being, but she could understand Sirius: the attachment and the love of Kreacher for the Black family and their objects was crazy.   
So she tried to not reply at every bad behaviors against Kreacher, even if it was hard for her to not talk. During her ife, she had hated: sure, she hated Voldemort for the things he did in the past and the things he was doing against the whole world, but… a hate so visceral and so deep was too much for her. Would she, too, have been blinded by that feeling to the point of not thinking? His rationality represented her balance, the balance with which she weighted the world; losing it was the thing that scared her the most.  
Hermione glanced at Sirius and Harry next to the tree, before the take on of Mrs Weasley’s sandwiches.  
   
Next days were full of hard work: the whole house seemed ready to fight against their attempts to clean it and Mrs Weasley seemed just as much ready. The situation was so hard, that they spent all the free time they have trying to run away.  
«Okay, I’m done» Ron said, sitting on the stairs after four hours of fighting against every scary monster on the planet.  
Harry nodded and sat next to him «I’m so agree».  
«Fortunately, mom is occupied to scream against Mundungus. Again».  
«Hey, here’s a bunch of slackers!» Said Fred, ironically, while he was jumping on the stairs.  
«You’re idiot!» Said Ron, when Fred struck him.  
«Do you want to try it?» Said George, showing them some sweets.  
Harry and Ron glanced at him and George asked, innocently «What?»  
«The survival manual of Wasleys taught me to not trust in you since I was three» said Ron and Harry laughed: «Yesterday I was vomiting a cause of your “candies”, no thanks».  
«Harry, Harry… what kind of financier are you, if you don’t trust your clients?» Said Fred, forgetting that Ron didn’t know nothing about it.  
«On the contrary, I trust you so much that I can let you do what you want» said Harry.  
Ron was confused «What the hell are you talking about?» He asked, but Ginny arrived with a grin.  
«What’s that? The parking for derelicts?»  
«I’m afraid that if I go in the living room, I suddenly feel the need to spray for other eight hours!» He complained, while the other were laughing.  
«Ehy sister, do you like some candies?» George tried, but Ginny made a big smile «I’m not stupid».  
«Oh c’mon, it’s for the family cause!»  
«Look, there is Sirius!» Said Ginny, before to ran away.  
The twins turned towards Sirius that looked at them «Do I need to worry? What are you doing?»  
«We’re killing ourself» said Ron, ironically. Fred tried to convince Sirius to help them with their experiments – the reality was that they couldn’t try all the candies on their self, because they felt bad twice time.  
Sirius glanced at the sweets and laughed «C’mon, I’m too much for you… blood, vomit or pus?»  
An embarrassed silence felt down on them, George and Fred murmured something that seemed like _“the three”_ and Ron began to laugh so hard.  
«Don’t scream so much or the lady could awake again» said Sirius. «Now I’ll go upstairs, but you return to work or Molly could kill me».  
«Sorry! Are we going upstairs too, to rest for a while?» Asked rhetorically Ron and Harry nodded «Oh yes!»  
Fred shook his head «These young drifters…» murmured, imitating perfectly his mother.  
Ron and Harry stopped on the first floor to hide in their room before the arrival of Mrs Weasley, while Sirius was looking at someone that, as usual, didn’t rest.  
Hermione was taking advantage of the unexpected pause to sit down, but also to read something: there were days and days that they did nothing but clean! In reality, there was still a lot to do but they noticed that, in the absence of Mrs. Weasley, Sirius didn’t even try to propose to do something, preferring to leave them to enjoy if not the summer, at least free time. And they had no intention of complaining about it.  
Sirius smiled at the scene in front of him: the living room was totally empty, a part of the pile of junk in the corners. In the center of the room there was the old musty sofa and, on it, Hermione was reading with no clue of the chaos around her.  
«What a nice little place to relax» he joked, making her head up. Her hair was so frizzy that she looked like she had placed a bomb on it, but somehow managed to tie it up on her head; the suit was dirty in several places and the dusty tome on her legs seemed to be two hundred years old.  
«Are you ready for the fight?»  
She laughed «I finished the hair potion and I don’t think to have the chance to go out to sell it».  
«It’s a very big problem, I see. My hair were terrible, once».  
Hermione glanced at his long hair with a clear look and Sirius laughed, for once with his good laugh and not the acid one «Okay, I wasn’t change a lot, it’s true».  
He tended to let them grow when he felt depressed, maybe because it was a way to show his emotions outside.    
«I have to cut them…»  
«No!» Exclaimed Hermione and, at his funny glance, she continued with less passion. «I mean… you _could_ , but in the end there are not so bad…»  
Sirius smiled «Well… and where did you find it?» Sirius asked, pointing at the book she was reading. He remembered it, because its words are fixed in his head like fire.  
«Oh, this!» Hermione was excited about it and raised it to show the cover. Sirius snorted automatically: he was forced to read the “ _A Pureblood Magic history”_ for hours and he hoped to see it fire in the flames of Hell. The cover was of a dark and shiny petroleum green, while the spelled words of the title were in silver; Hermione was attracted by its beauty.  
«Am I wrong or did I discard it?» He was sarcastic and she gave him a decidedly negative look.  
«In fact I was wondering why, it's a beautiful book!»  
Sirius raised his eyebrows and Hermione bit her tongue again; it happened a little too often with him, she definitely had to talk to him less.  
«Not in that sense! Okay, it talks about the “blood mania”  as you call it, but it's a good book! Look at the miniatures, the colors, the precision of the writing...» she said fervently, while she stroked a page in which a large 'B' in red stood out.  
Sirius nodded «It's true, it's definitely a well-done book... outwardly. But, if you don’t like what is written or don’t need it, what do you do with a good book? It is the content that counts».  
Hermione then looked at him as if he were crazy, undecided as always if express herself and looking like the usual smitten girl or keep quiet. Sirius seemed to have understood perfectly what was the kind of doubt that tormented her. Hermione didn’t expect this from a person who in the past had proved so impatient and careless about the nuances. For his part, Sirius was the most fervent supporter of youth and the ideas that came from it; were them extreme, dictated by ingenuity or the passion of the moment. Molly sometimes told him, and not so secretly, that he tended to be immature and that imprisonment in Azkaban had accentuated that trait. It was probably true, sometimes he felt like a boy trapped in an adult body.  
With an amused sigh, he sat down next to her. «Come on, tell me».  
Hermione shook her head «Maybe it's stupid...»  
«Maybe it is, but if you believe it, it's always worth it» he said, to give her courage.  
«For me, a book doesn’t tell something just because it has words inside... yes, words actually say something, but it's not just that. A book speaks for its entirety: the thickness and type of paper, the houses in which it lived and the people who handled it, even those who wrote it... this book is the story of the amanuensis who has spent so many hours to look for the perfect 'B', it is the story of the period in which it was written and it is even your story, of you who read it for some reason and in a precise period of your life... » she was passionate, blocking herself when she felt his eyes on her. «Excuse me» she murmured, lowering the book.  
Sirius winced «Why are you excusing yourself? You said something beautiful, I had never really seen it from this angle. Probably the fact that this book is part of this house has made, you know... _disappear_ everything else» he explained, looking around.  
«Here, do you see that?» He said, getting up to get an old silver mirror thrown into a corner. «This was my great-grandmother's mirror. My mother used it before going to sleep and it’s very expensive. But my brother and I weren’t interested in the value itself, but the fact that it was scintillating».  
«In fact, it's very shiny» Hermione agreed.  
«Doesn’t it seem strange to you that it's still so polished, despite everything and after a long time?»  
Hermione nodded «Yes... does it have any particular power?»  
Sirius laughed «I don’t know!»  
«What? Really?»  
Sirius shook his head «Really! Regulus and I realized that and when our mother wasn’t there, we tried to get it dirty in every way. We even plunged it into a bowl of mud, but nothing to do. He has no repellent spells or anything like that. It's simply, well, shining».  
Hermione made the gesture of wanting to see him and Sirius handed it to her. In fact, it was one of the most beautiful mirrors he had ever seen: the back was slightly rounded and showed a network of inlaid branches that faded to become two snakes; these twisted to form the long handle that ended with two serpentine heads. And it sparkled as if it had just been created, emanating silvery flares.  
«It's wonderful» she said, handing it back to Sirius.  
"For me it was nothing but one of the many pieces of silver of my family, but its history... I also remember that day when our cousin Andromeda caught us and told us that the mirror remained bright because it was silver of fairies».  
Hermione stared at him so skeptical that Sirius laughed «Oh, believe me, we were so well educated to know that silver came from the Goblins and that they worked to give the Thoroughbred wizards the finest silver in the world, but that time Dromeda wanted to make us come back to real children and she told us about this fairy prince who created the mirror to gave it to his princess of life».  
Hermione smiled «What a beautiful story!»  
«Yeah, then we spent the rest of the summer looking for the alleged fairy kingdom» he finished and they laughed together for a while.  
«How much time has passed...» he said then, looking at the mirror.«I have memories in this house, few beautiful like this, but the point is that I don’t want to have them anymore. I prefer to throw everything and not think about it anymore» he concluded abruptly, getting up.  
Once again, Hermione had the feeling that he was boiling, as if he was afraid of staying still for too long. Perhaps his fear was that, standing still, he could take root and become a part of the house forever, like those objects he hated.  
«You arn’t like these objects, you can have another life. Like them, after all» she murmured, not really sure he'd heard her.  
Sirius stopped for a moment, while he was back, and sighed before lowering himself to put the mirror where he was.  
«You can keep the book if you want, give it a new life or whatever you want» he replied, as he left.  
Hermione began to wonder if she was able to make Sirius always melancholy or moody.She stroked the book thoughtfully with a laconic sigh, then squeezed it: he probably would have kept that book that talked about bizarre ideologies and complicated magical genealogies just for that moment; then, with a furtive gesture, she went to take back the fairy mirror and hid it under his coveralls, running towards his room.  
   
   
   
 


	2. Chapter two

**12th August 1995**  
The morning of 12 August, Sirius awake at 4 o’ clock, abruptly and completely, as someone screamed in his ear. He kicked the sheets, but he remained in the bed for some while to enjoy the darkness of the room. That was the morning of the stupid judicial hearing of Harry and he was tense; not because Harry was risking the expulsion from Hogwarts – Amelia Bones should have gone crazy to pay attention to Caramell’s folly –, but because he knew very well the Ministry’s techniques to discredit people. He read the newspaper articles appeared in the last months on the Daily Prophet and neither Harry nor Dumbledore come out well.    
He wasn’t interested in those things because he was used to be misunderstood, but Dumbledore was a prestigious figure and Harry… Harry was just a kid, damn it! Each time he thought about that story, the injustice hit him as a punch.  
«Stop with these cheerful talk searly in the morning, Sirius» he said ironically to himself, while stood up. He turned around in the room barefoot, trying to not wake up Fred and George in the room below, and took some clothes.  
Harry would have woken up in an hour and he wanted be awake with him, because he had to be frightened. The idea that Caramell would do anything to intimidate him, made him crave to break his quarantine and go to the ministry with Harry.  He hoped that Dumbledore was there, even if he wasn’t happy of him in that moment.   
A “toc toc” on the door made him sure that he wasn’t the one already awake.  
«Go on» he murmured, wearing a dark grey shirt, en pendant with his mood and the atmosphere of that day. In the meantime Remus, that was glanced at him from the doorsill, was thinking the same. «What?»  
«You should go to shopping, maybe you can buy a clear grey shirt» he said ironically, despite of his wardrobe that didn’t see a single new item since he was 16.  
«What a cheek!» Exclaimed Sirius, looking at his typical brown suit, the same since five years.  
«What were you saying?»  
Remus smiled «Well, I don’t exactly need a suit among the werewolves».  
«Well, I don’t exactly need a suit to go on a date, in these days» replied sarcastically, Sirius. «But, and just for you, I can tie my hair» he said, tying his long hair.  
«I’m touched, really. Harry is already awake?»  
Sirius shrugged «I don’t think so… Arthur?»  
«He and Molly are already in the kitchen. They’re having breakfast and Tonks is with them, she was finishing the night shift. I think Harry can sleep for another hour, leave him in peace» said Remus, watching the Muggle watch on the wrist.  
Sirius noticed it and laughed «Really? I’ve never noticed that you brought that old junk with you!»  
Remus snorted «These watches are more precise than your magical things, mr Pureblood. And, you know, my monthly pay hasn’t arrived yet» he said, ironically.  
Sirius shook his head and put a hand on his shoulders «Welcome in the club! I go downstairs in a  while…»  
«Okay. And put on a clean shirt or Molly will not leave you alone all day!»  
Sirius sighed, but in realty he began to be used to that everyday routine, at the idea that so many people were under his roof. He knew that, when the war would end and the Headquarter would emptied, he should be alone again… finally he changed that damned shirt and put on a blue sweater, just to make happy the girls in that house: some days later, Ginny called him the “man in grey” and Molly said every time that he was depressed also because the clothes he wore. As if living in Grimmauld Place was the perfect ambience to an elegant and accurate wardrobe.  
Sirius entered in the kitchen and  the people in it stopped to talk.  
«Please, keep to badmouth. Don’t care about me» he said sarcastically, having some tea.  
Tonks snorted «We thought you were Harry. I’m soo t-tired, but the shift was good, after all…» she explained with a big yawn. «But you have to listen this: Lucius Malfoy stopped Kingsley in the corridor».  
«What?» Asked Sirius, glanced at Remus. «And why?»  
Tonks was tense and that wasn’t a good sign; she glanced at Arthur then she said «Well, I think… you know… for _you_ ».  
Sirius felt suddenly cold, as a ghost passing through him. He had the feeling that, as soon as he lowered his guard, someone would come back to prick him for the sake of annoying him. In fact, the idea of asking Dumbledore to give it away with his story had flashed in his mind: with all the things to do, he could hardly believe they were still really looking for him. And here, instead, that slimy of Lucius Malfoy emerged from the cylinder.  
«What... what did he tell you?» Remus said, after giving him a warning look.  
Tonks shrugged «First, he said something about the fact that it seemed strange that a good Auror like Kingsley couldn’t deal with a... well, you. Kingsley said he made a lot of allusions about the fact that he wouldn’t really be looking for you, it was disturbing» she explained, as silence fell into the kitchen. Molly sat for a moment with her hands in her lap, then glanced quickly at Sirius before clearing her throat; she hadn’t yet talked, that Sirius sat and preparing for war.  
«I think we should be even more careful, these assumptions are not good...»  
«Mh, sure» Sirius murmured sourly.  
«Did you say something?»  
Sirius felt Remus's hand tighten his leg under the table, so he tried to calm down.  
«Yes, I say: I was careful! Actually, if I was more careful, then it would been better to die».  
He noticed perfectly that Molly was holding back from rolling her eyes in the sky.  
«No, listen to me: I don’t go out of this damn house since Voldemort has taken over his body, today it's almost two whole months. If Malfoy or whoever has doubts for him, it’s certainly not my fault. So please don’t look at me as if I’m nine years old, thank you».  
The silence that followed these words made him realize that he had hit the mark: after all, he had followed Dumbledore's instructions to the letter, even if he didn’t pass a day that he wanted to break them to go out and watch the sun. If someone wasn’t doing his job, that wasn’t him.  
Tonks slapped her hand «Ah, and I didn’t told you about Scrimgeour!» She began, but then they fell silent because Harry entered the kitchen, looking at them in surprise.  
Mrs Weasley jumped up «Breakfast» she said, pulling out his wand and ran to the fireplace.  
«Good-good morning, Harry» Tonks yawned. «Did you sleep well?»  
«Yes» said Harry.  
«I was standing all night» Tonk replied, with another yawn that shook her. «Come and sit down...» She took a chair and overturned the one next to it.  
«What do you want, Harry?» Asked Mrs Weasley. «Porridge? Muffin? Herring? Eggs and bacon? Toasted bread?»  
«Just… just toasted bread, thank you» Harry replied.  
Remus glanced at him and it was clear he was worried, so he continued towards Tonks «So, what were you saying about Scrimgeour?»  
«Ah yes, we need to be careful because even him asked some questions…»  
Sirius lost the discussion, because he keeping to look at Harry: judging from his pale face and his expression, he surely didn’t sleep  a lot that night.  
«Are you okay?» He try to murmur to him and Harry smiled «Let’s say yes… » he replied, while Mrs Weasley placed the label on his shirt and smoothed his shoulders. Harry would have preferred that she didn’t and when he noticed Sirius's annoyed expression, he felt a sudden rush for him.  
The time left was just for small talks with Sirius and failed attempts to raise his mood; Sirius knew that there weren’t good words to say to someone risking to left Hogwarts forever. He felt strange for a moment, thinking that Harry could live in Grimmauld Place with him, if he was expelled; then he felt guilty for those thoughts: nothing could compete with Hogwarts and thinking to deprive Harry of that joy for his egoistical pleasure was so embarrassing.   
However it was nice to imagine, at least for a second.  
Upstairs, times later, Hermione abruptly woke up and began to shook her head «Oh no».  
She kicked the sheets, dressed up and ran to the doors «Oh no no no» she continued to murmur. She opened the door and hit Remus.  
«Hermione! What’s up?»  
«Where is Harry?!» She was almost screaming, turning round in the hope to see him.  
 «He’s gone. Since half an hour. Why?»  
«Oh no, I had set my alarm clock for five! I wanted to-» she began to moan and to felt stupid.  
Remus smiled «Don’t worry, we were with him… he wasn’t so worried» he lied, but a worried teenager didn’t need to know everything.  
«Yes, but what would have he thought that neither Ron nor I were awake? What if he doesn’t come back to Hogwarts and we'll never see him again?» She continued to say, fidgeting and raising his voice to each question.  
Remus put his hands on her shoulders and gently shook her. «Okay, calm down. Harry knows that you love him and you'll see him again, that's for sure. There’s nothing that can really incriminate it»  
Hermione nodded, then Mrs Weasley went down from the stairs «Dear, what’s happening?»  
Remus shook his head  «Just a little tension for Harry. But that’t okay…»  
«Sure…  now we go downstairs and have a good tea together, right?» Mrs Weasley said and Hermione thanked with a smile.    
Remus nodded enthusiastically, then went to dress up for his long day at work, hoping not to have to tell the poor girl that he was wrong; he knew how hard the Ministry could be when he wanted to kill someone. He hoped that Dumbledore was with Harry to give Caramell what he deserved.  
«Hey, what's wrong?» Sirius looked up from the newspaper he was reading, when Molly and Hermione entered the kitchen; from the expression of one and the red eyes of the other, it didn’t seem difficult to guess. Hermione sat down in front of him and Molly quickly prepared her a Guinness breakfast. «There, dear».  
«Thank you...» she murmured, not daring to look up at Sirius: she must looking so stupid and childish in his eyes.  
Sirius glanced at her, then cleaned his throat and began «My Merlin, this newspaper become more and more rubbish every day!»  
Mrs Weasley sighed «What are the news, today?»  
«They created an absurd story about Harry's hearing. And luckily the Skeeter is gone!» He snorted. Mrs Weasley nodded «That horrible woman! I heard she’s disappeared!» She exclaimed.  
Sirius laughed with a certain ardor «I'm sure someone gave her a hand» he said, giving Hermione a fleeting wink.  
Hermione smiled briefly, then coughed «And what do they say about Harry?» She tried to ask, but Sirius dismissed the newspaper with a shrug and threw it «It doesn’t matter, of course. We don’t have to worry about it! And then there will be Dumbledore with him and we know that Dumbledore is never wrong!» He commented with confidence.  
Actually, they were _hoping_ that Dumbledore would go to the hearing, but anyway it wasn’t appropriate to tell that to an anxious girl. They smiled for a moment, then Sirius clapped his hands on his knees.  
«Good! I have to feed a hungry hippogriff!» He exclaimed as he pulled a bag out of a cupboard that didn’t seem to promise anything good.  
For the next hour the house was revived and everyone was more or less put to work. However, Hermione couldn’t think of anything but the hearing, how Harry was, what the verdict would be... it really seemed absurd that the others could pretend nothing. In the end, she lost her patience when she caught Ron, Fred and George laughing in the salon, as if nothing was happening.  
«Ah, you are here!» She exclaimed, stopping in the doorway with his arms folded and her lips contracted like not even McGonagall could do.  
Fred quickly hid things that, Hermione was sure, Mrs Weasley would never approve.  
«Oh, it's you Hermione. For a moment you seemed-»  
«And I thought you were all worried about Harry, what a fool I am» she interrupted him and the three frowned at the same time.  
«Hey, we're worried!» George protested. «But we can’t do anything, so-»  
«Why not have fun at the expense of Harry, who is just facing a trial, right?» She concluded, outraged even more.  
Ron wiped his dusty hands on his jeans and stood up «What are you saying? Do you really believe that we aren’t worried about him? But George is right, we can’t do anything at all. We have to wait and hope that everything goes well. And then there will surely be Dumbledore with him... » he said, trying to hug her.  
Hermione pulled away with a snort «I know, just...» she exploded, looking away. «He couldn’t go back to Hogwarts with us, he could be expelled!» She snorted and Ron nodded «I know, I really-»  
«Really? Because from how you behave, it doesn’t seem!» She snapped, running away.  
Ron scratched his head nervously «What's her problem? Damn it!»  
Sirius almost didn’t notice her as he returned from his mother's bedroom. Then he realized that, in a corner sitting on the ground in front of his door, there was someone who wasn’t supposed to be there «I start being repetitive, but: what are you doing here?»  
Hermione raised her head «It's the quietest spot in the house» she muttered and Sirius sat down next to her, saying «I didn’t think it bothered you had too many people around».  
«Right now, yes» she murmured.  
Sirius smiled slightly «Are you still worried about Harry?»  
«Aren’t you?» She asked, looking at him.  
«Of course I am! I'm always worried about him... just tormenting myself is useless, especially as I have no power to help him now» he replied darkly.  
«That's what Ron says» she said in an awkward tone, like she was surprised that Ron and Sirius could think the same.  
«Well, maybe you should listen to him more often» Sirius replied, bringing his legs to his chest and leaning on his arms. Hermione snorted, then nervously running her hands over her flushed eyes.  
«It seems nobody cares! Before those three idiots were in the living room doing some dangerous experiment or some childish game, while Harry has to face almost a trial!»  
Sirius smiled indulgently «You're too hard on them, you can’t really believe they're not worried about him».  
"I _know_! Only I wish... » she began, looking around without finding the words.  
«That they showed it more, so that it doesn’t seem that you’re the only one panicked?» He replied, between the ironic and the sympathetic. Hermione looked at him wide-eyed; he had fully got the point: how many times had she been the only one worried, the only one organized, the only one always ready? Sometimes she felt a huge burden on her shoulders and could no longer understand whether she had voluntarily put it or had been buckled.  
«Yeah...» she groaned, lowering her head to his knees.  
Sirius stared at his profile for a few seconds, then he laughed softly at an unexpected memory that had come to his head.  
«Whenever I, Remus and Peter continued to worry about the upcoming war waiting for us outside Hogwarts, James hit us in the head with something» he let slip, as Hermione raised her head to look at him. «He used to say _“You can’t win the war with complaints_ **”** and he was right. The only things that I ever heard him complain about in life were Quidditch and Lily, at least when she wasn’t considering him» Sirius said, as he sighed. «As you may have noticed, I complain a lot but sometimes I try to follow James suggestion. And you should try it too, both with Harry and with everything else. You're still young, you can save yourself» he teased, making her laugh. «And surely Harry would be more pleased to see your smile than your tears, coming back» he continued, standing up and offering his hand.  
Hermione took it with a certain hesitation, but she already felt better «T-thank you, Sirius».  
He smiled, then seemed to want to say something and hesitated for a moment «I know it's not easy to live here: so many people, members of the Order who hold meetings that you can’t attend, so many unnecessary cleanings... I can understand that you feel the need to be alone, once in a while. That's why I'm happy all the time that there was no need for Regulus's room, at least I can come here and stay, you know...»  
«Alone» Hermione agreed. «I love all those who live here and I'm proud of the Order, but sometimes it's like I feel out of place, I mean…»  
She stopped suddenly and felt herself blushing to the tip of her hair. By now it was quite clear that Sirius could get them out of the worst things in the world, the one that most embarrassed her. Yet he always managed to keep that indulgent smile that made her feel secure; it was supposed to be that, the strength of maturity. Hermione wished, even if only for a moment, to be an adult like him and not have all those silly adolescent thoughts to which, in spite of herself, she belonged.  
Sirius nodded then turned to climb a few steps of the narrow spiral staircase that was right outside his room and pointed his wand at the ceiling, murmuring something; with Hermione's astonishment, a piece of the ceiling opened.  
«Come on, I'll show you something» Sirius said, disappearing from sight.  
Hermione looked nervously up the stairs to the lower floors, then looked back at the trapdoor: she felt there was something wrong with all those conversations that seemed so intimate, in that complicity that was building up between them. However, to look at it rationally, Sirius did nothing but act with her as a wise and judicious adult, no less than he was for Harry and everyone else. In spite of that thought, she felt an awkward movement of the heart as she was following him.  
The hatch revealed an enormous attic packed with objects of any kind and coming from all over the world; between the chaos, towards the bottom, there emerged a huge round window and a beautiful glossy bookcase in dark wood.  
«Wow» he murmured, noticing the bookshelf: it was empty but was built with such a beautiful wood that she thought it was a pity to leave it there.  
Sirius banged on the bookshelf «This should have been the highlight of the great Black studio, too bad that someone threw everything to the air, running away».  
Hermione looked at him, always undecided whether or not to laugh at his acidic exits, then went back to staring at the bookshop «It's a pity that there are no books».  
«Oh, there are!» Exclaimed Sirius, heading for a pile of boxes in a corner; he opened them with a wand and pointed to the books as if to present them «Have fun».  
Hermione blinked «W-what?  
«You need to get distracted and you want to be alone, I thought this was the right place. Choose the books you want and read them as well, they are as beautiful as the one you took» he explained, while she felt almost moved by so much care.  
«I don’t know what to say...» she murmured.  
Sirius shook his head «Just promise me you'll relax and not kill Ron, Fred or George before tonight» he said, making her laugh.  
«Well, I'm going back down. When you go out tell me, this room has a special closing spell made to prevent someone from entering it» he said, coming back downstairs.  
Left alone with the room, Hermione continued to round a bit among the forgotten objects of the Black family, feeling as an intruder. That room was closed for a reason and she was probably the only one in the house to have set foot there.  
That situation put on her a particular restlessness, as if it were a sort of secret shared only by two people, where the other person was surprisingly Sirius. Although she had promised it, she couldn’t stand still and kept thinking about how many things she was discovering about him and how much his words and his voice managed to calm her down more than anyone else. When he let out pieces of the past, for Hermione it was like collecting shreds of stories interrupted in the middle or stories never finished. She realized that Sirius was a bit like this, a person whose story was momentarily interrupted and of which he wanted to know everything.  
With a sigh, she began to take a look at the books and realized that Sirius hadn’t lied: the books had wonderful covers, with gold or silver inserts and baroque writings. She chose one about the Founders of Hogwarts and crouched on the dusty floor.  
She didn’t even know how much time she spent in the attic, but surely it had been over an hour, and perhaps Mrs Weasley was looking for her to do some work. A little sad to have to leave her only quiet refuge, she stood up and put the book in his place. Despite what Sirius was saying, the fact that those books were in a protected and after all comfortable room made her realize that it wasn’t his intention to get rid of them.  
She opened the hatch as flat as possible, trying to see if anyone was there: she didn’t understand exactly why, but she felt that the idea of knowing Sirius' _"secret place_ ” couldn’t be seen as a positive thing by the others. After closing the hatch and checking that it adhered perfectly to the rest of the ceiling, she turned to look at Sirius's bedroom door, undecided whether to knock or not.  
She wasn’t sure he was in the room, but she preferred to talk privately about it.  
Hermione knocked softly but received no answer; she tried to push and the door opened, revealing a huge room that once must have been very bright, given the two large windows on the left wall. Even in the dark he could see the extreme refinement of the furniture and the brilliant silver of the headboard.  
Only after a few steps Hermione realized that Sirius was sleeping in the large bed and she realized she was making a real nonsense: she was in Sirius's bedroom, who was very jealous of his privacy in such a crowded house, and above he was sleeping in his bed.  
She turned around to go out, but something chained her gaze once more: on the right wall there were a lot of photos, magical or no. The photos closest to her showed a young Sirius, among the notorious Marauders: the clothes a little decomposed and the scars of Remus Lupin were unmistakable, as well as the physical appearance of Peter Pettegrew and... the hair ruffled and James's glasses! Everyone was right when they compared him and Harry, they were actually identical except for the eyes. Hermione, however, remained enchanted by the boy at his side: the Sirius of the Hogwarts years was certainly very beautiful, with his shiny black hair and gray eyes. In spite of all, this wasn’t only the one to hit her, but the openness and spontaneity of his smile.  
The Sirius in the photo was throwing a Quaffle at Peter, who then fell on James, causing him to fall into the lake; two seconds later, Sirius laughed grimly, holding his stomach.  
Hermione put a hand to her mouth to not laugh, then she went to the following photos: a half-hidden from a motorcycle's calendar, she showed Sirius intending to hug a girl with dark red hair and shining green eyes… she must be Harry’s mother Lily. She tried to move away laughing, while Sirius tried to kiss her on one cheek; two seconds later, an altered James came to hit him on the head with a Transfiguration book, while she laughed. It seemed incredible that the same young, handsome and carefree boy was the same person who slept in that bed.  
The other photos were almost all with the Marauders and dotted with Quidditch crests, Gryffindor banners and Muggle calendars with half-naked women. It seemed that the entire room of the fifteen-year-old Sirius screamed that he wasn’t like the rest of his family.  
But it was one of the last photos to surprise her: she showed Sirius and a girl sitting by the Hogwarts lake; she had long dark hair and had to be a Hufflepuff from the uniform, while Sirius had the usual rebellious air with long hair. In the picture they were hugging, then Sirius tried to kiss her neck and she moved away, making him fall into the grass; the two laughed together, then she would kiss him on the nose.  
Hermione gently tried to detach the photo from the wall that, fortunately, came away easily: the writing on the back said _"Sirius and Violet, 03.04.75",_ was supposed to be his fourth year of school. Hermione couldn’t even understand why she was so intrigued; probably a part of himself kept seeing Sirius only as a former wanted man and not as a boy who was normal, with school, jokes, joys and loves.  
Hermione put the photo on the wall, thinking about the girl: who knows what she was for Sirius? She turned around, thinking she found herself right in front of the bed, where Sirius slept in a disordered position and his face partially covered by his hair. With a smile, Hermione thought it was exactly that way she imagined sleeping a guy like Sirius: decomposed and without rules.  
«Harry!» Mrs Weasley's shrill voice came over and Hermione glanced terrified at the door, before returning to stare at Sirius's handsome face. With a blow to his heart, she realized that his eyes were now open and were staring at her without saying a word.  
Hermione gave herself a few seconds to realize that they were so bright that they shone with a dark light even in the darkness of the room. Sirius, for his part, was totally stuck on the spot, undecided about what to do. Why was she there? Why was he staring at him like that? Perhaps it was the first time to really notice her eyes: they were brown, but a shade tending to gold, and at that moment they shone far too much. Sirius thought he didn’t want to move for fear of breaking a balance.  
«Guys, Harry is back!» Ron's scream roused them and Hermione winced as if she had been pinched; she glanced back at Sirius, who moved slightly as if to change his position, and ran away. She ran for all the flights of stairs that separated her from the ground floor, her heart in her throat and her tears in her eyes: what the hell had she jumped on her mind to do? She felt like an idiot and had become aware of what was happening to her, she had realized in the moment Sirius had opened her eyes on her. When he saw Harry with his usual hair in the air and his usual gleaming look, she forced herself to smile and flew into his arms, crying all the tension on his shoulder.  
«Hey!» He did. «How much enthusiasm!» He said, exchanging a glance with Ron.  
«I was so worried!» She said loudly, a little for relief, a little to stifle the beating of her heart.  
The next hour they all gathered in the kitchen to hear the story of the audience, but Hermione couldn’t even concentrate with all her strength; his neck ached from not looking in the direction of Sirius. She felt his presence as if there were only two of them in the room and the embarrassment grew second by second; how could she talk to him from that moment on? She felt like he had caught her while she was doing something obscene.  
«Hey, are you okay?» Ginny whispered at one point and Hermione nodded stiffly.  
«You're tense...» Ginny continued and Hermione forced herself to smile «I'm just tired».  
Sirius, standing next to Mr Weasley, kept glancing at her halfway between the worried and the perplexed, thinking he could finally confirm the subtle fear that had crept into him for a few weeks now. The little voice that responded to his intuition had begun to send him alarm messages for a while, but he had preferred to silence it. Since a long time it didn’t happen that someone took a crush on him, certainly not a fifteen year old, not a fifteen year old so cute, not a friend of his godson.  
He had no idea how to act, but probably doing nothing was the wisest move: it wasn’t supposed to be easy for a girl to realize what she was feeling and it wasn’t his intention to embarrass her.  
After a few minutes, Molly began to prepare for lunch with George and Fred helping as they could, using magic for every little thing and risking shearing some fingers, while Harry and Mr Weasley were talking at the table. With a silver trail, the Patronus of Remus made its triumphal entry into the living room by Sirius, snatching a little cry of surprise from both Ginny, who was playing with Crookshanks on the floor, and Hermione, who instead stood gloomy in a corner at to read.  
«I will not be there for dinner» said the voice of Remus, then the Patronus disappeared into a cloud of smoke. Ginny blinked, then looked at Sirius. «What animal was it?»  
Sirius rose from the floor and smiled «A Fennec! It's a kind of fox».  
«But... I thought his Patronus was a wolf!» Ginny exclaimed, but Sirius shook his head.  
«No, no, no. Remus could never call a wolf like Patronus. Remember that it’s the set of all the memories and the happiest elements of a person» he explained, and the two girls seemed struck by that revelation. Hermione remembered that the Patronus of Remus had been something formless during their third year.  
With the usual 'crack' warning Fred appeared a few feet away from her, snatching a cry.  
«Stop doing that!» She snorted, but he ignored her to turn to his sister «Mom says he needs you in the kitchen, it seems our services aren’t welcome».  
«You were going to cut Crookshanks's tail...» Ginny mumbled, leaving the cat and going downstairs while her brother disappeared again. Crookshanks mewled around Hermione's legs for a while, then flung himself over Sirius. He picked him up and raised his head to Hermione, undecided about how to start the conversation. Only then she realize that they were horribly lonely and, when she noticed that he was about to open her mouth, she began «I had come to your room to warn you that I was leaving the attic. There would be to seal the boxes and close the trapdoor, here» she explained quickly, before leaving.  
«They'll need me in the kitchen!» She exclaimed, realizing that she gave the impression, among other things, that she was on the run.  
Sirius watched her leave with an unpleasant feeling in his chest: he had to convince himself that the awkward tie that was forming with a fifteen-year-old girl was not natural and it was better that she quenched, especially if she really showed a not really friendly interest in his comparisons.  
And then he knew he was not in the mood to take things with the right clarity, not when his life fell apart day after day. The only things that still held him on the shore were Harry and the war, but the first would soon return to Hogwarts, though he had hoped for a second... Sirius sighed, giving himself to the egoist. What kind of godfather could he be if he thought something like that?  
Then there was the war to which it belonged almost exclusively by chance. He was practically the wreck of a past that insisted on coming back, what could he offer anyone? What could he offer to a young girl like Hermione, who still had her whole life in front of her?  
Thinking of so much youth, so much freedom, almost made his wrists tremble. Then he realized that his mind was wandering no longer on _the impossibility_ of the thing as much as on the _plausibility_ that she could find interest in his person.  
For the first time, Sirius felt as dirty as ever and thought that Remus probably was right when he told him that a small part of himself, of them, had probably gone insane when James and Lily were dead. He, in that sense, had to be the most crazy of all.  
   
   
   
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, Remus's Patronus IS a Warewolf. But for me it doesn't have sense. Sorry.  
> So I'vre created new Patronus :D  
> Send me suggestions, doubts or... well, whatever you want, bye!


	3. Chapter three

**Chapter three**  
 

The joy of not being expelled lasted for a few hours, because in the afternoon Mrs Weasley put them back to forced labor. In that house it seemed that the things to be cleaned, rearranging, throwing and disinfesting would never end. No one was in a good mood in those days, but Harry noticed that the worst of all was Sirius: although he had congratulated him with a big smile, he did not seem particularly overwhelmed by the joy that he was returning to Hogwarts. At some point in the afternoon he found himself talking to Hermione at a corner of the salon.  
«Well, I think part of him would have liked you to stay here, after all it's been too long» she said sensibly, choosing a tone that was halfway between what he would have chosen a few weeks before and now. She had always agreed with Mrs Weasley when she said that sometimes Sirius seems to be looking for a friend in Harry more than a godson, and yet since he had approached her, she wasn’t so ready to judge him.  
Harry nodded a little distraught, then Ginny called them from the floor; she was sitting cross-legged, along with Ron, Fred and George, as they polished and cleaned objects with brushes of various sizes.  
«Hey, it's a frame!» She exclaimed. «He looks like Sirius when he's young»  
Harry and Hermione leaned behind him to see, «It's not him» Hermione said decisively, who after all had seen pictures of her as a young man, and Harry nodded «He must be his brother, Regulus»  
Ginny looked at him better and noticed that the boy in question had a less squared face than that of Sirius, short hair and tidy and dark eyes but bright.  
«What's up little sister, did we get a crush on a picture?» George teased her, noticing that she was still staring at the picture.  
Ginny jumped «What? Don’t be an idiot, it's simple curiosity!» She snapped, hitting him with the brush, while the others laughed. «Well, if you think about it we've been cleaning for weeks, but we know nothing about this place except for Sirius».  
Harry frowned for a moment «And I wouldn’t scream it too loud, if I were you. There are no good memories in here, it seems».  
«What happened to Sirius's brother?» Ginny whispered, returning to look at the picture: the boy looked happy as he showed his new flaming uniform; only then did Ginny notice Slytherin's green-silver tie.  
«Let's say that, unlike Sirius, he followed in the footsteps of his family» Harry said, slightly uncomfortable at the idea of betraying personal things Sirius had told him.  
Ron changed position to a more convenient «You mean it was-»  
«Probably» Harry interrupted, and Hermione noticed his grim expression.  
«Okay, let's change the subject?» She said, grabbing the first random object and starting to rub vigorously. Harry gave her a smile of gratitude.  
They continued to find artifacts from an era that must have been sparkling for the Blacks and, very often, both Harry and Hermione noticed Fred and George throwing looks of pure desire to the fantastic silvers.  
«I can’t wait to be rich enough to allow myself such things!» Exclaimed one of them, as he made an old jewelry box shine.  
Ron grinned maliciously «Would you like it!»  
«Have faith, little brother. We're on the right path!»  
«Yes, I'm convinced the Black made their fortune by throwing candy» Ginny said, making them laugh.  
«Shout up and think of your _Regulus_ , little sister» Answered sarcastically George, as the girl had causally avoided storing the frame in the box of polished objects.  
«Now he would be more or less the age of Sirius, Little Maniac» did Fred, while Ron winced. Hermione noticed him and snorted.  
«What?» Grunted him.  
«I would like to remind you that none of you has ever made any particular problems with Madame Rosmerta of the Three Broom and she is for sure older than Sirius» she commented fiercely.  
She wasn’t turning to anyone in particular, but Ron blushing his ears like every time he was caught in fragrant. Harry, who had never had any interest in the woman, hid a smile in the cup that was shining.  
«Well, it's a different thing!» Exclaimed Ron.  
«Why, because is she a woman?» She began and from her expression seemed to prepare a war.  
Ron looked at Harry, but he didn't seem to want to meddle, so he snorted.  
«No, because she's... I’mean, it's like one of you fell in love with Sirius!» He snapped and Harry began to cough for the surprise. Hermione sighed, but tapped on Harry's back with notable impassability.  
«Well, Sirius is an handsome man and surely he would have the chance to find a woman if he wanted to!» Ginny exclaimed and Hermione was grateful that she spoke for her.   
George and Fred were looking at Ron and Ginny with some interest, as the little brother grew more and more red «I don’t say no...» He mumbled, but Ginny shook his head.  
«You are just the usual bigot, everything that goes out of the box is not good for you!»  
Ron silenced for a moment, then he looked at Harry «What do you think?» asked, in a slightly loud tone, while Hermione shook her head: Poor Ron, always so stiff.  
Harry cleared his throat, thinking he had never imagined the possibility of a Sirius future with a woman. However he realized that the war and Voldemort sucked up all his fantasies.  
«Well, I have never thought of this eventuality...» He began and the Ron smiled radiantly. « _But_ yes, I guess it wouldn't be a problem for him or anyone else. I mean, even Remus...» He mumbled, without looking at the friend. Hermione nodded, but then Harry went on. «… But, I mean, you're talking about extreme disparities in age, I don't think that's good… Don’t know»  
«Oh for heaven's sake» began Ginny, rolling her eyes.  
One of the guys was going to add something, then Sirius walked into the room with a handful of stuff in his hands.  
«I went to the kitchen and your mother told me to bring you these, greetings» he announced ironically, spilling all that junk in the middle of the circle, among the protests of all. «So, how's it going?» He tried to ask, with his hands on his hips.  
It was probably his tendency to remark, but from the looks that the Weasleys turned to him and the blush on the faces of Hermione and Harry, he realized that he didn’t ask the right question.  
«What were you talking about?» He asked, while a sneer opened to his face: he wasn’t born yesterday, he knew perfectly what teenagers could talk about, left alone in a room. With the tail of the eye he saw Hermione blush even more and was practically certain.  
Ginny coughed with a certain dignity «People with such different ages who fall in love» telegraphed, without any slight blush.  
Harry envied so much courage, while Ron next to him seemed to want to bury himself.  
Sirius laughed «And why?»  
Ginny took a nervous expression because of Regulus’ frame and Harry ran to his aid «Forget it, crap».  
Sirius took another turn on their embarrassed looks, then dissolved the tension with a laugh «Now I'm curious, talking of someone in particular?»  
Hermione noticed Ginny dropping his rag on the picture of Regulus and snorted for not laughing.  
«No, in general... The boys here think that adults, for example like you, shouldn’t and can’t fall in love with younger people» proclaimed, enjoying the expressions embarrassed of others.  
Sirius hesitated then grinned for a while «So, you're saying that I’m a decrepit old man, didn’t you?» satirizing, causing a small revolt in the male part.  
«Hey, we didn't say anything like that!» Exclaimed in chorus Fred and George.  
Ron continued to shut up, more red, while Sirius directly looked at Harry «And what do you think?»  
Harry began to think that people would turn to him a little too often to solve embarrassing speeches. He threw a annoyed look to an amused Hermione, then sat down better.  
«I believe that everyone can make the life he wants... just that-»  
«… Just I have to find myself a decrepit old woman like me or nothing» Sirius finished for him, but he was amused. Harry snorted, but the Godfather gave him an affectionate pat on the shoulder. «Quiet, it’s the vision that all young people like you have. You will understand that it isn’t so simple».  
«But we didn't agree!» They exclaimed Ginny and Hermione. Sirius was staring at Hermione, thoughtful, and the idea of what he could think after the “bedroom scene” embarrassed her to death.  
Fortunately Remus broke in the room, with another box of things to clean in parentheses and Sirius turned to stare at him with a big grin on his face.  
«What’s that face?» Blurted out Remus, frowning suddenly. He knew Sirius for at least 20 years and every time he made that expression, he didn't come out well.  
Sirius made a subdued giggle and approached him «Our boys here were discussing sentimental relationships» He said, while the whole group murmured uneasy: here we go, just Mrs Weasley missed the conversation, then all the world would be informed. George almost repented of being so witty.  
Remus assumed the color of the box that he held «Oh, really?»  
«Oh yes, in particular they talked about relationships between people with _great difference of age_...» Sirius alluded to him and to the others he almost seemed to sing. Hermione had never seen him so enthusiastic and Harry thought that it must have been his typical expression, in the years of Hogwarts: the one that let predict catastrophes.  
Remus didn’t seem so much in agreement and turned to take a look that promised torture «And so?»  
«Well, what do you think about that, dear Moony? Share your wisdom with us…»  
Now six pairs of eyes were watching him and Remus thought that he would gladly exchanged Sirius with Severus Snape, if Voldemort would allow it. He gave himself all the time to lay the box on the ground, then up «Why so much curiosity, guys?»  
None of them thought it was the case to appoint Sirius's dead brother, so Ron boldly stepped forward «We were talking about Madama Rosmerta» He mumbled and the two Marauders exchanged a smile of understanding.  
«Oho, Madame Rosmerta! How many boys dreamed about this!» Sirius exclaimed, sitting on the arm of the sofa behind him.  
Remus laughed «Really we should point out that she did dream especially you» he did and all the boys laughed, all but Hermione.  
Sirius showed no sign of embarrassment «But I, unlike any other, was able to conquer her!»  
«R-Really?» exclaimed in chorus Ron, Fred and George.  
Remus was thankful that the speech had moved from his person, so he was much more willing to participate ribbing Sirius «Let's say that after the thirteenth bouquet of flowers, the fourth box of chocolates and the twelfth ticket singer has succumbed».  
«You don’t know, but she offered me two Butterbeer and a free Firewhiskey!" Said Sirius.  
Remus frowned «But the Firewhiskey was illegal!»  
«And that is precisely why you didn't know, _Mr. Predictable_ » Sirius answered, shaking his head, while Remus puffed.  
The atmosphere stretched out, but Hermione was unable to dismiss the annoyance of a young Sirius who tried with Madama Rosmerta who, unfortunately, made the brains of any boy in gruel.  
«Haven't you finished yet?» Asked Mrs Weasley, entering the living room. «Sirius, Remus, are you not distracting them, do you?»  
«No!» They defended at the same time, making her arch an eyebrow.  
Remus smiled «I beg your pardon, I will get to work in the corner and I will not bother, promised»  
«Me too!» Added Sirius sarcastically, while the woman went out muttering something about _patience_.  
The boys quickly lowered their heads, brushing the objects with more energy, while Ginny and Hermione rose to get more from the box of Remus.  
«So, what do you think?» Asked Ginny.  
«About what?» He made Hermione distracted while rummaging in the box.  
«About the conversation!»  
Hermione emerged with a few objects and glanced at the two men seated on the couch, in spite of herself smiling «I don't see why they can't make a living, when all this is over. They are still young, all things considered» She commented, then she noticed Ginny's gaze. «And yes, I think even with younger people... but, I mean, what do we know, right?» She finished summarily, returning to work.  
The problem was that when she had imagined Sirius Black rebuilding a life it was she who had imagined at his side. Hermione thought that teenage fantasies had never done for her and she didn't want to start now, but despite her intentions, however, she found himself looking to him several times during the afternoon.  
On the other hand, Sirius had sat next to Remus just to continue his daily entertainment staff.  
Remus resisted a few seconds to his subdued grins, then lowered the book on werewolves that he was reading «What?»  
 Sirius nodded «Sorry, I was just thinking back to your fantastic color “tapestry of grandma" who had taken your face before» said, while Remus sighed.  
«Where did you come up with the idea of making allusions of that kind? I would have killed you!»  
«Come on, we both know what I was referring to...... and, as I told you, not yet understand why you don't come forward. It is clearly clear that my cousin has a weakness for you».  
Remus blushed vaguely «You must have gone mad» He said, flinging a glimpse at the boys who worked. He got up and walked out of the living room, sheltered from prying ears.  
Sirius snorted and followed him out, braking at the last second by throwing a look at Hermione. Since she caught her in her room that morning, the girl had done everything she could to avoid him and he was a bit sorry.  
«So why would I go mad?» He did, when they reached the kitchen downstairs.  
"«Because it doesn't make sense what you say!» Remus exploded, always well attentive to keep the voice low.  
Sirius twirled his gaze «I know that Tonks feels something for you and I know you well enough to see that you feel something too. And I noticed your looks, so why not?»  
Remus passed a hand in his gray hair and laughed at himself «Because Tonks has thirteen years less than me Sirius, _thirteen_ ».  
«And since when age is a problem? Moony, Tonks is adult and vaccinated, if she chose you it's because she likes you. It isn’t as if he had taken a girl's crush» He commented and, for a moment, he realized he was not just talking about the condition of Remus: Hermione Granger was a 15 year old and probably had a teenage crush on him, but had she been at least Legal? Would things have been different?  
He roused himself to hear Remus say «It's not just this... Pad, I am a werewolf» Did and Sirius blinked «Thanks for the confession, but I know for at least eighteen years»  
«Don't joke, you know it's a serious thing» Remus murmured, with an expressiom so sad that Sirius nodded seriously.  
«I know, I know it's serious, my friend. But you spent your whole life worrying about this curse and we had to practically force you to stay with us the first few times, just as we had to force you to listen to the Animagi and everything. You can't keep living like this. Now there's war and you're busy, but after? What do you want to do, live from outcasts all your life?»  
The words flowed as a river in full and Sirius realized that he didn’t speak only with him because, removed Tonks, their situation was identical; who knows what would be their place, after Voldemort.  
The expression of Remus said that he knew what he was thinking and Sirius sighed «I had resigned myself to a life in Azkaban after the death of James and Lily, but Peter's sight infused me with that anger, that desire to live just to avenge me, but now... I'm locked up in a house that I hate, I feel useless, but the desire to live above all this, Remus, the desire to fight for my future life. Don't force yourself into forced imprisonment, too».  
Remus seemed struck by those words «What is it that gives you so much strength?»  
«Harry» retorted with security Sirius. «At least at the beginning: the desire to see him win and finish Hogwarts, to marry and maybe make a family, or become a champion of Quidditch or whatever he wants in the future... the idea of being there in all this has infused me hope. But now I begin to think about what I want, who knows how it will be...»  
Sirius's voice became dreamy and Remus almost envied so much expectancy; Sirius was always like that: he passed from moments of deep depression to moments of pure ecstasy, while he was more balanced; too bad that balance brought him to restrain himself on anything.  
«And you're lucky to have found a person who accepts you as you are: Tonks knows you're a werewolf, knows you're older, knows you've got scars that never go away. But, loving you, she's accepted everything you are, don't let her get away» Sirius continued, in a slightly sadder tone.  
It was as if he were envious of him, as if he were envious of the fact that he had at least one chance. Which was stupid, because if there was one who deserved happiness in life, that was Remus Lupin.  
Remus sighed deeply «There's also another thing...» He murmured.  
«What?» He pushed Sirius, who saw him hesitant.  
«As you say... Now there is war, but after? Suppose everything goes well, I am and still remain a werewolf, poor in the barrel, and old. What can I promise a young girl like Tonks? It's a half-Black, for Chris’s sake!»  
Sirius couldn’t believe his ears that to Remus one of the problems were the money, although he had to admit that to give little importance to the money had always been a big defect, even in school.  
He put a hand on his shoulder with a big smile «You have the good fortune to have conquered one of the few good fruits of the black tree: I remind you that the mother of Tonks has renounced everything for a muggle and, although Dromeda still has the haughtyness of black women, it wouldn't make a turn to the idea that you become his son-in-law, believe me. And Tonks doesn't give a damn about the money, you should have figured it out by now» He explained. «I think you're doing a lot of unnecessary problems, I'm sure you would agree» he did and for him the speech was concluded.  
Remus nodded quietly «I'll think about it» murmured and Sirius gave him a strong pat.  
«Bravo! And then, frankly, it’s her who should be proud to put herself with a brave man, selfless, intelligent and as good as you, Remus Lupin».  
Remus blushed vaguely, as every time anyone complimented him «What is all this kindness today?»  
Sirius laughed and stroke his hair as he always did when he was young «I love you, you stupid wolf».  
«Go to the devil, Stupid Dog» grunted Remus, while Sirius would start at the door.            
«And you? What are you going to do after this war?»  
Sirius thought for a moment, then he sneered «I will probably ask Madame Rosmerta to marry me!» exclaimed, continuing to laugh up all the stairs and colliding with Hermione.  
«Oh, sorry!» He said, taking her by the shoulders and observing better: from her expression she didn’t seem properly happy.  
«We just wanted to know where to put these...» she said, doing her best to ignore Sirius's hands on his shoulders. However, she didn’t remember touching her so much, previously.  
It seemed that Sirius thought the same thing, because it took away immediately as soon as he noticed it.  
«Gives to me...» He said, taking the box full of polished objects. « Something’s wrong?»   
She sighed «No, we're just a little tired...»  
«It's boring to polish objects, isn't it?» Asked him, with some intuitiveness.  
«No! These objects are very beautiful, they deserve to be polished!» Protested Hermione, almost embarrassed that he might have think she hated the beautiful objects of his childhood. «Just we have been doing it for at least five hours...»  
Sirius nodded «Don't worry, I understand very well. And in fact I think you should stop!» Exclaimed, leaving the box and clapping his hands. «Let’s d something else!»  
«But Mrs Weasley...» began Hermione doubtfully, but Sirius shook vehemently the head «No one will say anything if we take a moment of pause: after all, they can go on a mission or outdoors and we don’t, right?» He said with a grin that didn’t bode any good.  
Usually Hermione wouldn’t have listened to something that screamed "danger" from all points of view, but she was really tired and Sirius smile was very convinced.  
She smiled at Sirius's grin, by now she understood that he had a bad ascendant on her.  
«agreed» She murmured, once more foolishly glad he was happy.  
They entered the living room that the twins were blaspheming on an old Slytherin medallion that wouldn’t open, but Sirius dismissed them with a gesture of the hand «Forget it. We decided it's time for the break!» He announced cheerfully, while everyone turned as one man to Hermione.  
The girl blushed «Not my idea!» She exclaimed approaching Ron.  
«Are you the same Hermione who told us, every second, to do more tasks than those assigned?».  
«Are you the same Hermione who reminds us, every morning at eight, to tidy up the room?» Added Harry, while the twins laughed.  
«Are you the same Hermione that, even two hours ago, has mistreated us because we were doing _a break_?" Said Fred with a grin, while Hermione stood halfway between the embarrassment and the desire to beat them.  
«All right, stop it and leave her alone: it’s my fault: before it wasn’t the tight time, now yes!» He said, running in her help.  
Harry made a big smile «And why are _you_ deciding?»  
His godfather nodded «What the hell, I'll have some right as landlord of this place!»  
They spent half an hour looking for something to do that would be good for everyone and finally came up with Hermione with a Muggle game that had to explain to everyone, Harry included as the games in his sparkling life by the Dursleys hadn’t heard of. Sirius also tried to feel out of place, but the truth was that all those laughter and jokes made him feel good since so much time. After all, he had to prepare for the inevitable empty house from a few days, so it was worth taking advantage of the moments.  
The game consisted in dividing into teams and guessing the book, film, fable, show, object that the companion tried to mimic; the victory was a dinner prepared by the losers, while the defeat was obviously cooking, trying to ignore the protests that Mrs Weasley would surely baste.  
After a dangerous moment Ron began with a delicate «But you women are less, you will lose for sure!», followed by Ginny's fierce response to the fact that if it was worth the intelligence then they were already ahead, Sirius thought of saving goat and cabbage proposing as a teammate in extremis.  
«Since I'm still alone and it doesn't amuse me, how about I come to the team with you?» He proposed to the two girls, while Ginny stared dangerously at her brother.  
«With pleasure, so we win for sure!» She exclaimed with a grin.  
Sirius shook his head «Thank you for your confidence, but it isn’t sure I am good at this game... Hermione, what do you think?»  
Hermione stared at him as wondering what was behind and Sirius understood him; when she realized that Harry was looking at her with some perplexity, she forced herself to smile «But of course!»  
The challenge went on for a while: the ability of the twins to mimic was well balanced with the practically boundless knowledge of Hermione for the books and Ginny for the movies. Harry, meanwhile, was struggling with a Ron who didn't really understand how that thing worked. Moreover, more wrong, the more his sister took him ruthlessly around and more he was nervous, while Hermione didn’t know whether to help him or not. The wheel revolved a bit when films or books of the Magical World were released, in which both Hermione and Harry were rather scarce.  
After a good half hour that Ron reproduced in troubled races and cawing laughter, Harry surrendered.  
«It was Baba Raba and the grinning stump!» Exclaimed Ron with a disheartened sigh. «How can’t you know him!" He commented, while Hermione spun again eyes to heaven.  
«For the millionth time, Ron, we have different fairy tales!»             
Sirius laughed with Harry, then took a look at the Muggle clock that Lily had once decided to give him: he sometimes became confused, but had now become good at reading it.  
«That is a clock Muggle» noticed Hermione, without any inflections whatsoever.  
Sirius glanced at her «Yeah» he answered, then turned to Harry with a moved smile. «Your mother gave it to me, believing that magic was inaccurate. Anyway it's late, we should start making dinner!»  
It was half-past eight in the evening which meant that Molly was strangely late, but still didn’t want her to come back and find nothing ready; she used to cook for everyone.  
«So…» Sirius exclaimed, clapping his hands and getting up. «Who has the arduous task?»  
The other four looked at each other with a funeral expression, then turned to the board where by magic they had made the score appear: the team Ron-Harry had made a lot of crap and lay down on the leaderboard with 3 points, while the one formed by the twins had got a respectable 6. Hermione and Ginny smiled at the same time, watching their 12 forms on everyone.  
«Great, Sis!» Exclaimed Ginny, giving her a sound five.  
Hermione did something very similar to a grin, especially to Ron's annoyed face, then they both ran to embrace Sirius.  
«Hey, I could get used to this» he joked, while the two laughed and the boys muttered.  
«You were a majority...»  
«... and then Sirius has the millennial wisdom t his side! And Hermione practically devours books...»  
Ginny addressed a tongue, breaking away from Sirius «All apologies, don’t be childish!»  
«… Then I believe that the cooking should be an ability to develop. In the future, and when you’ll live alone, you'll understand» added Sirius, while Harry gave him a bad glance.  
Both Hermione and Sirius were resting on each other's arm for more than necessary time, but none of them would notice, at least until a couple of coughs made them understand that the playground had redeveloped into a Quartier General.  
Sirius got pretty snappy, though he wasn't doing anything unseemly: his hand had been on Hermione's arm for a few seconds and he was taking a break from so much work. Then why is Molly and Remus looking at them that way? Or rather, Molly was watching all of them with her arms folded, but Remus specifically looked at him and Sirius knew too well what that look meant.  
With a slight internal flicker, Sirius sneered «Excuse me Molly, to make me forgive the delay with the work, I have made you four helpers...» He began, explaining the whole story.  
The woman was listening with a stern look, but in the end she sighed and shook her head «All right, all right. In fact I'm tired, I could use those helpers...» alluded, while Ron planned the idea of escaping.  
Harry walked to the kitchen with a resigned expression, while Hermione blew a kiss to make amends. «Hypocrite» mumbled him, making her laugh.  
The twins were convinced only after a bit of coaxing, but Molly knew very well that they would be more of a damage than a resource.  
When she managed to bring them all down with her, Sirius was almost tempted to ask the two girls to protect him as Remus kept pointing him out; he seemed to begin the speech, but then the doorbell ring and his screaming mother saved him at the same time.  
«Stop ring that damn doorbell!» He yelled, going downstairs.  
«Sirius, it's Kingsley. He wants to talk to you!» Cried Molly.  
Remus sighed and looked towards the two girls, who meanwhile removed the chairs and the board «What was the penance for the defeated?»  
«Cooking for everyone» answered Hermione with a cheerful tone, while Ginny laughed.  
Remus, in spite of himself, laughed with them «An idea of Sirius, I suppose. You will rest I guess...»  
«Absolutely!» As they ascended the stairs Hermione was sure that Ginny had something to tell her in private, because she kept tapping her impatiently on her back to make her go faster.  
With a sigh, she finally arrived in the room and closed the door «What?»  
Ginny took off her long red hair from her eyes and took a neutral expression «What?»  
Hermione twirled her gaze «Come on, it seemed like you wanted to push me down the stairs!»  
Ginny began incredibly to look around, which irritated even more Hermione who knew that Ginny was everything but shy «Ginny...»  
«You know» She began. «I believe that…» she went on, but then froze to a bang and shook her head.  
«Come on, tell me!» Exclaimed Hermione, now really curios: it wasn’t from her to be so reticent.    
Ginny threw a strange look at her, then she scratched her neck with an embarrassed expression.  
«Well... _is that I have the impression of not being the only one who likes a Black_ » she said quickly.  
Hermione took a couple of minutes to absorb those words «Are you crazy?»  
Ginny took a nervous expression «I don't know... there's something in the gestures or the way you say things that... look, I'm going to ask you directly, do you like Sirius?»  
Hermione would froze on the spot, reflecting on how absurd it seemed to be said out loud. She realized that that fantasy was becoming not only ridiculous, but also dangerous: she imagined the extreme embarrassment if only he had discovered Harry!  
Trying to calm the cold tremors that had come, she smiled «Don't talk nonsense, it's absurd. Sirius is definitely a nice person, I don't say no, but I mean... it's Sirius!» She explained, with some reasonableness.  
Ginny nodded vehemently, but continued to observe her «… And then I might as well have taken a crush on a photo, but Sirius is, well, alive. and real. And it's Harry's godfather».  
Hermione assented «I know, so it seems absurd that you have even thought of it».  
«And then you like Ron» Ginny continued and Hermione felt she had to look away. «Hermione?»  
«Well...» She began with a certain hesitation and Ginny sat down on her bed with a sigh.  
«Till a year ago you told me that maybe you were feel something for Ron and with Krum not even went there because of him... what is changed?»  
Hermione bit a lip and lay down on her bed «I don't know... you know, I like Ron».  
«But not in the way you liked it last year?» Ginny interrupted, intuitive.  
«It may be...» alluded Hermione then, to his expression, snorted. «And no, it doesn't have to be because I like someone else! Don't tell me you're still thinking about Sirius, come on!» She blurted out with an expression that she pretended to be annoyed, lowering the voice.  
«Well, you must admit that there is _no history at all_ » Ginny said ironically, with a smile.  
«There is no history because Sirius is a grown man, who has lived many years more than us...»  
«Because he is beautiful and has the fascination of mystery and the turbulence...»  
«... Ron is a guy like us, he's young and he hasn't done much yet...»  
«... and it's immature, puritan and even a bit late».  
Hermione glanced at her in an angry way, but Ginny smiled as an excuse «You must say things as they are! Even for Harry, there's no history with Sirius...»  
Hermione smiled «Here we are, let's not start with Harry, Miss _“How he is well-dressed in green bottle"!_ »  She teased and Ginny blushed slightly, leaning better on the pillows «Ok, I stop».  
Hermione laughed triumphantly, then rose a moment to take the book that Sirius had given her.  
«What is it?» Ginny asked curiously, but when she saw the _"cat caught in the sack"_ expression of Hermione, choked a laugh. «Don’t tell me: it’s a Sirius book?»  
«Stop It!»  grunted Hermione, threw a pillow to her.  
«But… would you tell me the true if there is anything, right? You and I are friends, remember» Ginny  said after a while and seriously.  
Hermione nodded «Sure» when _Hell will freeze and Sirius will ask me to marry him_ , ended in her head, plunging deeper into the book. After that conversation she was extremely pleased to have hidden the silver mirror at the bottom of her trunk in a recess of guilt.  
Downstairs, meanwhile, the situation wasn’t very good: Ron had almost risked to cut off a finger while slicing onions, while Harry was battering his green beans.  
«Not like that, dear, you must try to make them equal» said to him for the hundredth time Mrs Weasley, with less patience than usual. Perhaps, after so many years, Harry had found a field in which she would never have supported him entirely. The other two who could do magic were amused to send all the utensils of the house around the kitchen, ruining the view at all.  
«Good heavens, Fred, tell that ladle to stop spinning, it makes us nauseous!»  
«I am George, by the way».  
«Yes, dear, as you will» dismissed Mrs Weasley, as she lowered herself to check the potatoes.  
In fact, the four guys had made a betting round to guess how much more time Mrs Weasley would has resisted before kicking them away and, in fact, after another ten minutes of ill-treated broccoli, onions alled to the floor and flying cauldrons, she couldn't make it anymore.  
«All right, enough now. You were very, er, nice to help me, but now you can go... tell Sirius that you have completed the punishment or what it is» She said and the guys ran away.  
Sirius had time to see them run upstairs from the entrance and smiled «Of course...» He murmured, then returned to focus on Kingsley, who spoke to him with his deep voice.  
«I'm sorry Sirius, I wouldn't want rumors about your account to spread» He was saying.  
Sirius shrugged his shoulders «I'm used to it» he commented caustically, but then he calmed down: It wasn't Kingsley's fault that Malfoy was a slimy bastard.  
«After all, Voldemort has a couple of people who can’t wait to take me» he declared, while Kingsley looked at him badly: he understood the reference to Severus Snape, but made no comments.  
They knew Dumbledore trusted him and his word was enough.  
Remus snorted from the stairs «You're not referring to Severus again, are you?»  
Sirius whirled his eyes «No, Mom. And get down from there or the other mom's going to start breaking the soul... and anyway it's not your fault, Kingsley, I'm just tired of having to hide, that's all».  
He went on bitterly, as they went to the kitchen.  
The other put his hand on his shoulder «When this war is over, you’ll be free. Assured!»  
Sirius smiled more than anything else not to offend him, but the truth was that he his future kept seeing him black, war or not, despite what he had said to Remus. After all, he really wanted to jump with Tonks and put on a family.  
«Kingsley, are you having dinner with us?» Said Molly, wiping her hands on her apron.  
The man nodded «Yes, there will be Tonks too».  
«Well! The more the better!»  
The dinner was quite pleasant for everyone, although Mr. Weasley had to stay in the office over the usual time and Tonks sent his sloth Patronus to warn that it was coming very late. More than one person noticed that Sirius had changed his mood in a matter of hours. He couldn’t drive out of the head the idea that he would never be rehabilitated and probably would die in the war, which would still prefer to imprisonment, but with the name tarnished. Never in his life, he was interested in the family name, but for the first time he thought he would want an acknowledgment for what he had lived and for what he had lost. For himself, but also for Harry who still remained bound to him.  
“Ah, James, you were a smart man” he came to think with acidity: if he thought of the old Marauders, he realized how bad they had gone and how much was James what he thought was better: Die or live in disgrace? He didn't even have to think about a second.  
Something yanked his leg and after a while he fell down with a annoyed «What's up?» Where he believed to find Crookshanks, there was instead a stealthy Kreacher trying to look for Black artifacts on the guests.  
«KREACHER!» He shrieked, making the whole table shudder.  
«But, Sirius...» began indignantly Mrs Weasley, but he uped in all his height, holding the domestic elf for the skirt. Both Ron and Harry turned automatically and inadvertently towards Hermione, who kept her hands on the gaping «Sirius, put him down!»  
«It would be time to learn how to behave with guests» Sirius began, who didn’t want to hear reasons. Kreacher kept muttering insults at all, but he couldn’t directly disobey his master.  
Sirius came out of the kitchen without listening to Molly's protests, asking to leave him alone. However, despite the embarrassed looks, no one made a sign of getting up from the table and Hermione looked at them with a decidedly angry look, before following Sirius.  
«Sirius, leave him alone!» She tried to say, while Ron, Ginny and Harry looked slightly upset: the idea that Hermione was shouting at Sirius was nothing short of impressive. Remus stood frowning for a moment, then got up and followed them out, giving a consolatory pat to Harry as he passed.  
«Should we go too?» Whispered Ron, but Harry shrugged his shoulders. When they were thinking of getting up, Mrs Weasley anticipated them throwing a tray of toasted bread under their nose.  
The two threw a blurred glance and resided.  
«I've already told you a thousand times that you never have to get your hands on guests! And you have to stop with this object story, they're all going to disappear that you and my crazy mother want it or not, do you understand?»  
«Yes sir» said Kreacher, then lowered his voice and said some insult.  
«And stop doing this, nobody believes you're crazy!» Snapped again, shaking him. He was taking him to the basement, where he knew there was his favorite hideout.  
«Sirius, stop mistreating him!» Blurted out Hermione, on the verge of tears. She was furious with him, but a small part of herself reminded her that it was none of her business.  
However it was months that she had taken to heart that question of the domestic elves, she really couldn’t believe Sirius didn’t understand. Feeling so helpless, without authority and young infuriated her even more.  
Sirius turned to look at her «Stop defending him. I've already told you it's a special case».  
«No, you told me you wanted to stop, but it was difficult to you!» She retorted, furious.  
«If it really is, at least try it!»  
Sirius shook his head, nervous «He was trying to steal things from you! Home Elf or not, no decent being would do such a thing!»  
Hermione nodded «Butt it isn’t his fault, they have educated him so!»  
Sirius made a smile without joy «Oh, surely my family has brought him down badly, that's for sure!»  
«I didn't want to-»  
«Say it, it is certainly not a new thing! Educated or not, it’s me who living with him and I can’t live with a being that embodies all the values I hate! He must at least learn to behave».  
«You _order him_ , it's different! You don't like to take orders, too! If I freed him, he-»  
«He would run straight from my cousins and Voldemort, that's for sure. I can't free him, he knows too much about this place and about you!» He interrupted her, more and more angry.  
Neither of them knew what they were really arguing about, it was a bit like two different universes were colliding. Sirius knew that he was playing the snobbish thoroughbred that defended slavery, but he couldn't help it: maybe it was cynicism, maybe old age, maybe simple anger... the fact was that he didn't believe Hermione's ideals, not in that field.  
«Then you should treat him better and prevent this hypothesis!» She screamed at the end, hitting him in what she saw as one of his greatest weakness: the inconsistency.  
Remus, who had heard enough from the stairs, went down to retrieve them.  
«You're screaming» he pointed out, while Sirius put down Kreacher without looking at either of them.  
«Listen to me: I order you to go to your bed and stay closed until further news. _Closed_ , Kreacher, do you understand me?» He ordered, not without a certain malice, while Hermione was holding her breath: she was red in her face, flushed and furious as ever.  
But she knew she couldn't do anything about it, he just had more rights than her.  
Kreacher bowed to the floor and tottered to the bottom of the room; they heard him complain until he vanished from sight.  
«Let's go to eat» only said Sirius, rising and passing in front of Hermione without looking at her. Remus sighed and looked at the girl «It’s all right?»  
«Yes…» murmured her, coming back up behind him. However, she didn’t return to dinner and, when Ginny entered the room, she pretended to sleep.  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The farytale which Ron was talking about is in the book "The Tales of Beedle the Bard", the same Dumbledore gives to Hermione in the 7th book. It's a very popular book among magic people. 
> 
> I hope you'll not think that the fight between Sirius an Hermione is too much. I want to point out, for IC motivations, that Hermione is a teenager too into the elves cause and Sirius.. Well, He is sometimes to much inconsistent and proud. Plus one is too rational but idealistic and the other too full-blooded and cynical... they're really two universes colliding. And I needed a thing to help them to go beyond :D 
> 
> I hope you'll like the chapter, once again sorry for my english. I think I will decide a routine to add chapters, because in english is hard and I don't have too much time (but I've already like 25 chapter written in italian, so...)  
> Well, thank you for kudos and bookmark! Too kind <3

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. 
> 
> I would, first of all, excuse me for my english. It's the very first time I try to write a long story... so, if you've suggestions to improve my english, you're welcome! I hope, however, it's understandable.  
> This is a long long story, that imply the last three books of the saga and create a sort of alternative story which I hope you can like.
> 
> There are some parts arriving directly from the original books. Well, I translated them from my language, so I think they will not be perfect.


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